As a mom of six, I’ve been through my fair share of mealtime struggles. Like many parents, I’ve faced the dreaded “picky eater” phase—complete with refusals, dramatic gags, and the never-ending requests for plain pasta or chicken nuggets. For a long time, I searched for the secret to getting my kids to not only eat healthy food but to enjoy it. What I discovered wasn’t a magic food or special recipe, but rather a complete shift in how our family approached food itself.
Today, I want to share the simple food principles that have transformed my home from a battlefield into a place where even the pickiest eaters have become curious, open, and willing to try just about anything.
The Root of Picky Eating: It’s Not Just the Food
So often, picky eating isn’t about the food itself but about how we as parents, and as a culture, present it. In the U.S., there’s a tendency to offer children a limited menu of so-called “kid-friendly” options—think grilled cheese, mac and cheese, or chicken nuggets. Without realizing it, we often condition kids to believe that these are the only foods they’ll enjoy.
But when I traveled and spent time with family in France, I noticed something striking: children there eat what the adults eat—without drama, without power struggles. Food isn’t seen as entertainment or a reward; it’s nourishment, connection, and part of family culture. This mindset was the spark that led me to rethink our own habits.
Our 7 Simple Food Guidelines
Rather than create strict “rules,” I focused on guiding principles that we could implement as a family—gently but consistently.
1. No Complaining at the Table
First and foremost: complaining about food is simply not allowed. If someone doesn’t like what’s served, that’s okay—they’re never forced to eat—but negativity at the table undermines the experience for everyone. Food is first and foremost about nourishment. Respecting the person who prepared it and keeping a positive atmosphere helps children approach meals with an open mind.
2. Food Is Neither a Reward Nor a Punishment
It’s tempting to use dessert as a bribe for finishing vegetables or to take away treats as a consequence. But doing so builds emotional associations with food that can lead to unhealthy patterns later in life. Food shouldn’t become a tool for behavior management. Instead, we focus on experiences for celebrations—like family outings or special activities—rather than sugary indulgences.
3. Meals Are Family Time
Whenever possible, we eat meals together at the table, free of distractions like screens or phones. Mealtime is as much about connection as it is about the food itself. We use this time to share what we’re grateful for, funny stories from our day, and simply enjoy one another’s company. This calm, mindful approach helps reduce stress around eating and encourages better digestion and overall well-being.
4. Involve Kids in the Process
One of the best ways to encourage kids to try new foods is to get them involved. From grocery shopping to meal planning and cooking, participation gives them ownership and curiosity. Even toddlers can help wash veggies or stir ingredients. My kids have grown up learning how to cook, and now that they’re older, they help prep meals, which saves me time and helps them build lifelong skills.
5. The “One Bite” Approach
In our house, everyone gets a small portion of each food on their plate—just one bite to start. If they don’t care for something, that’s fine, but the expectation is that they continue to try new and previously disliked foods regularly. Taste buds change over time, and I remind my kids that someday they might enjoy foods they currently dislike. The repeated exposure works wonders over time.
6. Hunger Is Natural
We don’t fear hunger in our home. It’s perfectly normal to be hungry before a meal. I limit snacking to ensure that kids arrive at the table ready to eat. This natural appetite makes them more receptive to what’s served and avoids constant grazing throughout the day, which can dull hunger cues and lead to fussiness at mealtimes.
7. Focus on Nutrient-Dense Foods
Finally, I emphasize quality over quantity. Instead of loading plates with processed snacks or sugary options, we serve nutrient-rich, home-cooked meals. From bone broth and pasture-raised meats to colorful veggies and healthy fats like butter, cream, and olive oil, every meal is designed to nourish both body and mind.
This means our breakfast might be omelets packed with vegetables and topped with hollandaise, rather than sugary cereals. While cooking from scratch requires more effort, I’ve found batch cooking on weekends helps tremendously—and with older kids pitching in, it’s now a team effort.
Progress, Not Perfection
Shifting our family’s food mindset hasn’t been an overnight transformation. There have been challenges, tears, and occasional setbacks. But consistency and a calm, positive approach have made all the difference. My children have learned to appreciate a wide variety of foods, and more importantly, they understand that food is about nourishment, not entertainment or emotional comfort.
If you’re struggling with picky eaters in your home, know that change is possible. You set the tone. Your relationship with food will be their first example. With patience, persistence, and a focus on positive family experiences around food, even the most selective eaters can become adventurous ones.
